If you’ve only seen a stylist a couple of times and don’t have a real relationship with them, I see no problem with just changing stylists and not letting them know. If you never really talked or were overall friendly, then just stop going. But for the rest of you ladies, it’s not quite as easy. Don't blame the texture of your hair on your hair dresser! Women's 24K Vanity Hair Shaping Balm ($32), Refresh+Care Volume & Fullness Dry Shampoo ($5). You are free to have your hair done by anyone you choose. Hairdresser and industry expert Geno Stampora suggests a "Dear John" or "Dear Jane" letter. For some people, reliability is the most important factor. If you find the one you’ve chosen is a little bare-bones, round it out with gloves or a brush as necessary. 9. The second a hairstylist makes it about themselves and stops listening to what their client wants, it all goes downhill. It can be awkward, but I’ve learned to develop a thick skin over the years. You could be getting your routine maintenance at the salon, transitioning your look for a new season or dramatically changing your … Thankfully, there are techniques to help a tough conversation like this one go smoothly. I let my client know the dates I WILL be available, and I always recommend the right stylist to fill in for me. Be able to listen and know how to assert your ideas. But if you have been a longtime client then I think it would be appropriate to explain to them why you are leaving them. However, Babaii has heard of clients going as far to say they had surgery and no longer will be able to drive, or moved out of the country. A: Hairdressing is an industry that is unlike many others. He contributed a monthly column to Byrdie. The idea that trimming your ends often can make your hair grow faster is oddly appealing. If you go in too harsh on your past stylist, it just may get back to them. Let your stylist know if you're low- or high-maintenance. Something like “Thank you so much for all the amazing hair you’ve given me over the past couple of years. You don't have any sort of contract with a stylist, so you are free to go to someone different anytime you want. Here are the reasons you could be ready for a change—and how to have an amicable split with your hairdresser. Celebrity hairstylist Mark Townsend works with top celebs like Ashley, Mary-Kate, and Elizabeth Olsen. Although, the term “ghosting” does seem a bit harsh! ... Facts You Should Know. Remember, a concise, kind message is a totally acceptable way of telling your hairdresser that you feel you aren't on the same page anymore, but that you're thankful for their service. Tell the stylist you are looking for a salon closer to home, explain that making appointments has been a hassle, you need something less expensive or that service is not meeting your expectations. Assuming there is enough of the vaccine to go around after that, everyone else will be able to get one, likely sometime in the late spring or early summer. It makes sense then for them to seek out a new stylist. "I've heard of people who decide to leave a hairstylist and think they may be punished or feel as though they've breached an implicit trusting relationship. It may be worth it to go that direction first. So be careful with your words.). They hold a major key to your confidence: making sure you love your hair. We've been together for over 15 years. Share your stories in the comments section below. Disappearing without telling your hairdresser is a big no-no, says Speyer. If they all know ahead of time that they are competing for your business, then when you choose one you should simply tell the others that you "decided to go with Contractor ABC." As a young stylist in the game, if I had heard this (and trust me, I did), I’d immediately start brushing up on my cutting skills and try to make myself better. "Sometimes they just don't like cutting a specific type of hair, so many are relieved when you dump them," says Speyer. It’s time for another installment of our Ask a Hairstylist series, featuring celebrity hairstylist and Dove ambassador Mark Townsend! Call or text your old stylist and let him gently know that you’ll be seeing his co-worker from now on. Honesty, again, is the best policy. Stress can do it - weight loss can do it. In my industry, these types of “breakups” happen ALL the time. But you shouldn't feel trapped in an unhealthy relationship with your stylist at the risk of having bad hair. Take notes. Most stylists know that, and will be very professional about a client leaving. I made mistake leaving my hairdresser and didn't explain and ran into them months later and didn't know what to say. Dear Cary, I feel like I'm about to cheat on my hairdresser. Have you ever experienced a bad hairdresser breakup? Whatever reason the client decided to leave ultimately must be respected. Maybe she just wanted to try someone else and play the field. Communication is key. Simply explain your reasons for seeing someone else. Unfortunately, it's not true. In my world, I rarely hear from the clients themselves; it’s normally through their publicists. You truly are awesome. Nobody knows your hair better than you! Thank you for your help. (Then again, hairdressers run in circles, and many know each other. If you liked them enough to consider them in the first place, all you can do is be honest. Don't dance around - ask her if you can try something else because the texture has changed. You’ve just had your tresses butchered, so don’t take any chances. Here’s the thing: I love when my clients have opinions. 3. Maybe her aesthetic evolved and didn’t fit with his anymore. For example, you can say, "I noticed that this last haircut grew out a lot faster than the previous ones." Honesty, while not always easy, is definitely the best policy. Complacency has a way of convincing us that everything will eventually smooth out. They know that every time they get a new client, it's because that person left another stylist. Sometimes the … “You’re also going to need an old t-shirt and towel that you don’t mind getting color on, because at-home coloring can get pretty messy.” Jodyne Speyer, the author of "Dump 'Em: How to Break Up With Anyone From Your Best Friend to Your Hairdresser," recommends being as specific as you can. When you head to the salon, you probably have an idea of what style you want. Before you buy anything else, survey what tools come in the kit you’ve just added to cart. Going to the hair salon can mean a lot of different things. And if you have especially thick hair, let the receptionist know when you book your appointment so she can allot enough time for you. W hile you need to have complete faith in your hairdresser, you also need to be honest and upfront with them. This person came recommended, after all! Hack Jobs. Be straightforward in your note, but kind, and be sure to say “Thank you… Give a heads up. Going to the hair salon can mean a lot of different things. She wanted to know how to “break up” with her stylist in the least awkward way possible—and who better to speak on the correct etiquette in this situation than a seasoned, experienced hairstylist? Cutting off the ends doesn't speed up the hair-growth process.It makes your hair shorter. ", Trust your instincts. Set a "get it right" deadline. You don’t go out for a night on the town in your smelly scrubs, do you? It's nice to have control over such things. That way, you’ll feel less awkward if you have a chance meeting. It can be hard for the hairstylist, no doubt. I know tons of hairdressers, so I have a good idea who will be the best fit. For better or for worse, I’m an extremely busy man. Does she take direction well, like if you ask her to do something for your hair, will she? An essential daily guide to achieving the good life, Dump 'Em: How to Break Up With Anyone From Your Best Friend to Your Hairdresser. Ask your doctor/obgyn if your hair and hormones are connected. Hair is not alive -- it's dead skin cells. That’s what separates the good hairdressers from the amazing ones. Tell them you really enjoyed speaking with them, they do great work, etc. If you like my work, please let other people know! Amazing ones are open to learning new things and constantly trying to better themselves. Go somewhere with a great reputation — your mileage may vary, but it’s hard to go wrong with the likes of Toni & Guy, Frédéric Fekkai or Vidal Sassoon. I know you’ve heard you shouldn’t wash your hair before getting an updo, because a little grit can help maintain the style But please don’t show up with hair that’s greasy, tangled, or smelly. Call or text your old stylist and let him gently know that you’ll be seeing his co-worker from now on. “A hairdresser should collect information about your daily habits, like what type of products you’re currently using (do you use any or none at all), how often you wash your hair, the last time you had your hair cut and how much time and energy you put into styling. Say it simply. take them up on that and ask the person you spoke with on the phone to be present when you show up. Sometimes I’ll be on a long press tour with my new client and my old client at the same time. I’ve been with Ashley and Mary-Kate for more than a decade because I listen to them and evolve with them. Yet, that switch is sometimes needed.". Or, "The color had more yellow than usual. But if it happens more than once, I totally understand why a client would move on. They was kinda hurt that I didn't tell them I was leaving. This story was published at an earlier date and has since been updated. In most businesses a product is provided and if the product’s quality isn’t up to your standards, you think nothing of going someplace else and getting a different brand of the product. Explain how you feel and ask what they can do about the situation. When a client tells me this is how I need to cut their bangs from their personal years of experience, you’d better believe I listen. I probably can't give you a celebrity's hairstyle. We have news for you—your hairdresser is probably on to your tricks. Allow them to fix the problem, as this lays the groundwork should you decide to dump them later. Thank them for their time. In the case of a "salon switchover" (which sounds like a reality show I would watch), I’d take immediate action. I've found someone else who does it better and now I don't know how to tell my current hairdresser that he just doesn't cut it anymore. Well you can just start going somewhere else. If the client is happier with someone else, it’s part of the stylist's job to be selfless and accept it. Leave out unnecessary comments and criticisms, keep it to a couple of sentences, … Sending flowers or a thank-you note in addition to telling your stylist face to face is a welcome gesture. Let This Be Your Guide, I Got the French-Girl Bangs Everyone Is Obsessed With and Regret It—Here's Why, Byrdie Boy: LANY's Paul Klein on “Brain Pills," Sunset Smells, and His Skincare Routine, 20 Haircuts Everyone Should Try, According to Celebrity Hairstylists, From TikTok Fitness to the Metaphysical: Your 2021 Wellness Forecast, From ER Nurses to Small Business Owners: 7 Real Stories of Pandemic Trauma, 6 Things Hairstylists Want You to Stop Doing, Meet the Mona Cut: Nyc's It Stylist for Shaping and Styling Curly Hair. A: Hairdressing is an industry that is unlike many others. Babaii believes that cutting your hairdresser loose is definitely valid if they are constantly late for your appointment, not styling your hair as requested, avoiding your concerns or even talking on the phone and texting while doing your hair. It takes a lot of bravery to call your hairdresser and tell them why you won't be returning, but Pound Bernard says "it is pretty lovely when they do." So many things can impact our hair: medications, diet, hormones, hair product, age, etc. Reaching out first helps quell rumors and awkwardness around their work environment. At some point or another, you may have broken up with your hairdresser or at least tried to, and ended up not loving your locks as much. One Washington woman who changes hairdressers once a year says that an old stylist can't take it out on the owner upon seeing you in his or her chair. well it depends what kind of relationship you initially had with your hairdresser. Don't lie As tempting as it may be to pin the blame elsewhere, • Switch to the salon owner. The latest trends, the colours that would suit you best, the cuts that would flatter you and what’s best for the texture of your … However, one shocking fact she's learned is how many hairdressers wish they could dump their clients and not necessarily for personal reasons. You could be getting your routine maintenance at the salon, transitioning your look for a new season or dramatically changing your … She adds, "There are usually one or two reasons why we are not happy. Stick to those, pepper it with kindness and do not confuse things by bringing other issues into the equation." HERE ARE A FEW PHOTOS TO TAKE TO YOUR HAIRDRESSER. No one knows your best hair better than you, says Vivian Diller, a New York City-based clinical psychologist and co-author of "Face It," a book about the psychology of beauty as we age. When you call to schedule your next hair appointment, that is a great time to mention any issues you'd like to discuss. Jodyne Speyer, author of "Dump 'Em: How to Break Up With Anyone From Your Best Friend to Your Hairdresser," recommends being as specific as you can. As soon as I know I’m gonna have to reschedule or cancel, I go into immediate action. Your hair is one of the cornerstones of your confidence and self-esteem. He did amazing work on her hair, their chemistry was amazing, and they had been “together” for years. Switching to a stylist in the same salon can be a tricky situation, and egos can be easily bruised. "If a client can articulate how her hair relates … So it may be hormones. That's why it can feel like an awkward dance when it's time to move on. Sometimes you may really want to go somewhere, like to a concert, a party, or your crush's house, without your parents finding out. One of our own was struggling with the one thing almost every woman goes through at least once in her life: ending things with her hairstylist. Sometimes you have to let your stylist know it’s just not working out. Reaching out first helps quell rumors and awkwardness around their work environment. Word travels fast around the shampoo bowls, and the last thing you want is hurt feelings or general unpleasantness. And it could be for a multitude of reasons. This is an important note and I just need some suggestions, especially any ideas for a gift other than a gift certificate. But I think I found someone who understands my fringe a bit better” is a nice way to go. How to Talk to Loved Ones Who Won't Take Social Distancing Seriously, According to Experts, This Makeup Artist's New Beauty Podcast Will Soothe Your Quarantine Blues, How-to Do an At-Home Haircut for Straight Hair, Real Women Reveal Why They Stopped Wearing Eyelash Extensions, Halsey: "I Have Grown Up a Little Bit, and I Need to Tell You How", 11 Successful Beauty Entrepreneurs Share Their Best Advice for Starting Over, Are You Tipping Your Hairdresser Enough? But in those cases, I have to remind myself this is still a customer-service industry. ", Leave the door open. I've found someone else who does it better and now I don't know how to tell my current hairdresser that he just doesn't cut it anymore. They hold a major key to your confidence: making sure you love your hair. Most of the time clients will understand. I know you’ve heard you shouldn’t wash your hair before getting an updo, because a little grit can help maintain the style But please don’t show up with hair that’s greasy, tangled, or smelly. This month, we decided to take his expertise in another direction. A salon is no different. Speyer recommends snail mailing your hairdresser a card that wishes her well. Part of HuffPost Style & Beauty. That being said, if the stylist reaches out to you to and asks if you want to book again, I think it’s respectful to thank him for his work and let him know you’re going to someone else now. Honesty, again, is the best policy. Below, learn how you can take back control and cut ties without coming to blows. ©2021 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. In the case of a "salon switchover" (which sounds like a reality show I would watch), I’d take immediate action. Speyer points out that it is key to remember everyone has an off day and that your hairdresser wants you to leave their chair happy. If you think you might come back, it leaves the door open. Ask her for help. Dear Cary, I feel like I'm about to cheat on my hairdresser. Yes, we'd all love Jennifer Aniston's shiny, sun-kissed … But another good bit of advice is “Say what you mean, but don’t say it mean.”, If you’re seeing a new stylist in the same salon as your last, do NOT trash-talk your previous stylist. Now if you have been styling hair for any length of time, then you know that nothing will … "Now I go somewhere that's in the suburbs just because I'm afraid I'm going to run into her somewhere!" We may be able to keep in touch via email, but you know how things go when people move away. And some weeks, there aren’t enough hours in the day for me to see everyone I want to. Check out some hair products that Mark swears by. If you struggle with confrontation, try sending them a card that wishes them well, but lets them know you've decided to move on and do thank your hairdresser for the years you've had together. If they ask you to come back in (and I hope they would!) 3. What I will say is that the longest client/hairstylist relationships I’ve seen all have one thing in common: communication and evolution. "There is nothing more awkward than running into your stylist at the market. We tend to over talk when it comes to dumping service providers, according to Speyer. But at the end of the day, it’s up to the client, and there really is no wrong reason. In most businesses a product is provided and if the product’s quality isn’t up to your standards, you think nothing of going someplace else and getting a different brand of the product. What clients decide to do in this situation is ultimately up to them. 3. 5. If a hairstylist recommends someone else to you, you should not feel bad about seeing the new stylist full-time if you like what that work more. After 20 years, I think you’re allowed to try somewhere new.. see how it works out for you and maybe tell her after a couple of times of being happy with another stylist. I’ve often witnessed the end of a long relationship between client and hairstylist, and found myself puzzled. We are guilty as charged of dialing up our stylists to say we have a "family emergency" just to avoid a fee. If you’ve been getting your hair cut for years by someone, try someone else out by chance, and LOVE the new stylist, I’d gently let your original one know. Speyer points out that it is key to remember everyone has an off day and that your hairdresser wants you to leave their … Most hairstylists got into this industry because they love making people happy. If your thyroid is going awry your hair texture will change, if you're on a low-fat diet your hair will change. But hairdressing is a more customer service-oriented business. See waht she suggests. Or, "The color had more yellow than usual." If you’re going to a hair salon (and an upscale one at that), you’ve got to keep prim and proper. They know that every time they get a new client, it's because that person left another stylist. Executive Fashion And Beauty Editor, The Huffington Post. We can all grow complacent, so don’t feel guilty to leave, you’re paying for a service, you should be getting what you … Breaking up is hard to do, but sometimes, it's for the best. For example you can say, "I noticed that this last haircut grew out a lot faster than the previous ones" or "The color had more … Be gracious and positive, but ultimately just let them know that you found someone who better fit your vision and decided to go with them. Write a break-up note to the hair stylist explaining that you’ve decided to transfer to a different hair salon, even if your new stylist is across town. Diller notes that there is a strong bond shared with your hairstylist as we hand over complete control for them cut, color and curl our hair, creating a need for this relationship. And if your stylist starts to cry or get upset, hear them out and don't react to their anger with more anger. You don't have any sort of contract with a stylist, so you are free to go to someone different anytime you want. Breaking up is hard to do, but sometimes, it's for the best. ", Set a "get it right" deadline. Your next salon visit should show that any or all issues are corrected, adds celebrity hairstylist David Babaii, the pro behind many of Gwyneth Paltrow, Nicole Kidman and Olivia Wilde's red carpet looks. If you think there is a chance you might return to your stylist, Speyer advises telling them just that. But hairdressing is a more customer service-oriented business. And if the relationship requires more than that, you might up the parting gift. People leave stylists for a multitude of reasons, and all are justified. "It is an association with stability and saneness and while some people are able to let go with ease, others may be more hesitant.". I try to channel their vision for their hair into reality, and gently steer them only when needed. For example, you can say, "I noticed that this last haircut grew out a lot faster than the previous ones." If you trust your hairdresser, make sure you also listen to their advice. And that means you can’t trust it … But often, clients feel muted in the chair and don’t want to rock the boat. It’ll make them feel like their work was valued. If you do like it, it is always nice to hear. You are free to have your hair done by anyone you choose. That's why it can feel like an awkward dance when it's time to move on. When you call to schedule your next hair appointment, that is a great time to mention any issues you'd like to discuss. Bigger, dryer, frizzier. Don't use outrageous excuses. I hope to hear from you. Most stylists know that, and will be very professional about a client leaving. Townsend shapes and snips the hair of Hollywood’s A-list (think Mary-Kate, Ashley, and Elizabeth Olsen; Dakota Johnson; and more) and will be answering all your pressing hair questions. "If you don't like something, speak up. https://www.angieslist.com/articles/how-break-your-hairstylist.htm If you ask for their permission, they may ask too many questions or simply say no. How to “Break Up” With Your Stylist. However, if you’re in a new salon, feel free to tell your new stylist what you liked and didn’t like about your last stylist’s work. Here are the reasons you could be ready for a change—and how to have an amicable split with your hairdresser.
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